Torture in Jordan

Amnesty international is again accusing Jordan of torturing political and security prisoners as well as taking the contract to do it for the Americans, who are too hypocritical to do it for themselves. Our government spokesman (Nasser Joudeh) denies that we have the contract, and says that the allegations in the report will be “examined”. I guess that we will need to contract the Israelis to do the examination, after they are finished with their own report on how they shelled a UN outpost 14 times by mistake. After their impartial, comprehensive report is issued, they will have time to complete this comprehensive examination.

In the mean time, we will have to do with circumstantial evidence. Of course, all terrorists claim that their confessions were extracted by torture, just as all inmates in jail are innocent. What about innocent citizens? Are they subject to torture in Jordan?

I for one would like to announce that I am constantly being tortured. The technique that is used involves prolonged cognative insult. This involves a never ending series of events revolving around the concept of reform. In Jordan, we need to reform our political and economic life. I don’t know why. But after five years of media bombardment, I and most Jordanians are convinced that we MUST have reform.

So, we NEED reform. Now, after we agree on that, we move to the next logical step, which is to decide what needs to be fixed. I mean, something must be wrong. MUST FIX SOMETHING WRONG (zombie intonation). We need modern election, parties and economic laws. These laws were all updated in the last 10 years, but they are not modern enough, apparently. They are not as modern as the election laws written hundreds of years ago in the UK or in the US, so we MUST rewrite them. Again.

Now the hard part has been to agree what exactly to fix. Last year, we went through a prolonged melodrama called the writing of the National Agenda. 27 unelected folks spent a year deciding what should be done to fix the country. The results were delayed for over three months, in the mean time, the government tried to enact what they thought were the most important recommendations in an unconstitutional ploy. These were four laws that were subsequently rejected by parliament.

Anyway, in an apparent attempt to salvage what can be salvaged, we are being subjected to a new process called “we are Jordan”. Basically, 700 unelected folks will try to determine what are the greatest priorities in the National Agenda and determine how to implement them (the National Agenda DOES have implementation mechanisms. No matter). Any way, Ayman Safadi thinks that THIS TIME, something tangible should come out of it.

Please make them stop! I’ll sign ANYTHING!